While in the backyard, view the lush, tall tropical greenery with a sunburst of bright colors. Think back to toiling the sandy earth and remembering the day you planted those small potted plants. It is one measurement of growth.

There are so many ways to assess growth. Observing the milestones from a newborn to bouncing toddler as time passes in a blink of an eye. Rummaging through photos of family festivities  seeing the years fade. Aging well with few noticeable wrinkle lines and financial success with lots of zeros at the end of the bank statement are other forms of growth. Vibrant health after a bout of illness or inner peace during life storms are other indications of growing. Growth comes in all forms, but self love is by far the most important. The ability to accept your whole self, both good and bad. Become like the mighty Kapok tree towering over the land; it stands erect through all types of weather. It has no judgment of self. It is just towering strength. Inner love is that strength within you.

Unfortunately, having counseled hundreds of people, I have learned that embracing self love is not an easy task. Throwing out all lifes baggage and self destructive behaviors are not easy. Once accessed, it is the flower of the heart for which all real joy blooms. Self love is the mastery of the tenacious mind chatter. It stops and ends chatter and ends the voice of the unjust that judges forever and counts each little error; tabulating each failure on your personal report card of misdeeds.

Let’s not forget, the never ending flow of negative thoughts battling the mind with shadows of fear and worry. Understand that in our imperfect humanity, few, if any, people have experienced a flawless life without error, chaos, victimization and emotional pitfalls! Growing to a place within that springs and overflows with love, acceptance, truth, and joy is often an enormous feat. Self love is the process of turning inward to reap the rewards of discovering the magical kingdom within. Whether through prayer, meditation, guided imagery, basking in nature, listening to soulful music, yoga, chi kung or hypnosis, the tyrannical ego is silenced, and the God within frees the outward battles of life. For those who have never ventured in, there is a soft, sweet gentle relaxation, a sensation of being protected, nurtured and loved beyond words. Often without sound or sight, just peaceful and placid freedom.

Let’s get there for a moment. It is easy. Sit back. Let your body relax. Close your eyes, and breathe in deeply. Repeat the words “relaxation” over and over. Take a few minutes each day and feel the renewal and growth from within. Just breathe into your stomach and out your mouth. Hold the breath, slowly releasing and begin the inner journey. Let your mind fully relax, clear thoughts with the word “relaxation.” Each day extend this breathing exercise for a few more minutes and notice how much more relaxed you will become. Grow in love and peace, learn to venture in.

For each of you, I send the well wishes that each day is a day of healing. Be your own best friend. Love the gifts and flaws too, and you will have grown to a love of self which will lead to love of others.

Cathy Carbone’s experience includes: Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Spiritual Teaching, Reiki Master and Group Facilitator. She can be reached at 727-669-7433 or