Humans have been celebrating passages
with rites and rituals from the time of our earliest history. Our
ancient ancestors built elaborate structures - whether we consider
them temples, graves or auditoriums - oriented towards the movements
of the sun, the planets, and the galaxies in such a way that the passage
of the seasons could be accurately calculated over millennia. At Stonehenge
in Great Britain and at sacred sites all over the world, historic
ruins point to the precise moments of the solstice, equinox and other
significant seasonal turning points. For our ancestors, the passages
from winter to spring, spring to summer, summer to autumn and autumn
to winter were representative of significant passages in human development.
In modern times, we are far less connected with nature and our human
nature.
Most of the artifacts of western civilization, such as electric or
artificial light, seem designed to keep us from our natural, primal
rhythms. We create our own seasons of light and dark within our individual
environments, and define significant passages in the context of our
social and religious mores. Some of these traditions are in line with
ancient rites, like the celebration of coming into puberty, of birth,
and death. Other important passages appear defined by our cultural
definitions of human progress: graduation from kindergarten, grade
school, high school or college; attainment of the age to get a drivers
license, buy alcohol or vote; a first date; marriage, divorce, secular
and religious holidays, birthdays. We consider big birthdays the ones
that end in a zero. Yet the passage from twenty-nine to thirty or
forty-nine to fifty does not reflect significant physiological, emotional
or mental changes. “The best ten years of your life are between
twenty nine and thirty,” I used to say earlier in life, changing
the digits every ten years. At seventy, I simply say “one more
decade, not yet decayed.”
One of the most powerful ways to reclaim our lives is to ask ourselves
what have been the most significant passages in our life. It is a
great way to sort out what definitions have been imposed on us, and
what have been the genuine turning points in our growth and development.
I began this process seriously as I approached fifty. My 50th birthday
poem describes each significant passage in terms of how I saw myself
at each phase of growth.
A successful psychotherapist at forty-five,
embracing my first grandchild,
I connect anew with family roots.
At fifty, I am free to be
All of the “me”s reflected in friends and family tree,
At fifty, I am free to BE ---
Have you ever experienced how the
moment of your greatest joy, freedom and accomplishment can be a
prelude to major change and loss? Although I had achieved all I
had ever wanted at fifty, there was a sense of something missing.
None of the “me’’s I had embraced felt REAL. The
search for the missing piece led me to my Self.
At fifty-five, I am my SELF,
Being, freeing, seeking ALONE
Trusting the God-dance that brought me here,
Open and flowing with all that is going
Trusting knowing Not Knowing,
I am that I am that I am.
Now that I was mySelf, my names no
longer fit who I was. I changed my name in a major ritual at Jean
Houston’s Mystery School. There, I ceremoniously removed each
of my given names, blessed it, burned it, and took on my true name.
The search for the truth of who we are is not an easy one. The passages
and markers are not predictable. The winter, spring, summer and
autumn of our individual lives do not seem to align with the movements
of the stars, the seasons, birthdays, or any other culturally defined
passages. Our innermost soul determines when and how the significant
passages occur. As we align with our soul’s purpose, we learn
to live in the place of mystery, the place of the eternal now.
After my name change, my rites of passage took the form of books.
The completion of O-Becoming One: Transformation Beyond Survival,
an account of my journey into Self, turned out to be prelude to
O—Becoming Other: Survival Beyond Transformation. Once again,
the moment of greatest accomplishment foreshadowed major change,
as new insights were channeled into my unconscious.
At sixty-three, I am free to be
My selfless Other
Less Self, more Other.
Then, in O-Becoming One with the Other:
Handbook for the New Millennium, I was challenged to transcend the
duality of survival and transformation, and to incorporate interactions
with life forms in other parts of the cosmos into my self- definition.
Over the course of the last fifteen years, I have learned to deeply
trust knowing Not Knowing. When I closed my practice, I consulted
with financial advisers regarding my fiscal future and security.
Consistently, every year, I have moved in the opposite direction
to their counsel. Each time I reach what appears to be the end of
my resources; a new source of income appears as if from nowhere.
These sources do not seem to flow from promotion of my consultations,
books, seminars or workshops. Yet in virtually every area of my
life where fear of insufficiency previously ruled, reassurance and
security manifest in totally unexpected ways.
There is no end to our soul’s passage and its evolution into
enlightenment. It extends over many lifetimes, on many planets,
in many forms and dimensions.
It is a mysterious, exciting journey.
For the I Am That I Am, the All That Is is constantly becoming…
Lisa Raphael is a transformational
holistic healer, seminar leader, spiritual mentor and author of
the O-Becoming trilogy and The Fourth Eye: A Spiritual Primer.
727 822 0489; www.lisaraphael.com
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