In May of last year I was diagnosed
with lymphoma, a form of cancer. This was a very effective attention
grabber! Or you could call it a wake-up call.
Not surprisingly, most of my attention went on beating the cancer.
I only realized recently that in so doing I was in fact going against
the advice that I myself have given as a counselor to many clients
over the years. Repeatedly I have suggested that people put their
attention on what they want to achieve rather than on a negative
that they want to get rid of. So what was wrong with putting my
attention on getting rid of the cancer? Nothing really except that
it was stressing the negative of what I wanted to get rid of rather
than the positive of what I wanted to achieve. We tend to get what
we put our attention on. Was my goal simply to get rid of the cancer
and prevent it coming back or was this a step in the direction of
achieving the broader goal of optimum health? Actually it is the
latter. I don’t just want an absence of sickness; I want health.
This raises the tricky question, “What is optimum health?”
There is clearly no such thing as absolute health – at least
not in the physical universe. We are subject to constant change.
One cannot say “this is it” and hang on to “it”
for ever. The “it” keeps changing. Optimum health, therefore,
has to be a goal that we are all the time working towards but will
never actually attain one hundred percent. Take, for example, the
body’s immune system. The immune system is designed to handle
threats to the body’s health. If some harmful, dangerous element
or pathogen enters the body, the immune system goes to work to neutralize
or eliminate it. It’s an ongoing battle. Optimum health, therefore,
as far as the immune system is concerned, is a condition in which
it is capable of handling the challenges or threats that it is faced
with. This, at least, gives us a practical, working definition,
though not an absolute one.
When I ask “What is optimum health?” most of us will
think of the health of the body. So let’s use this as a starting
point. As outlined in my last UnCommon Sense!, we are not
our bodies. Our bodies are tools for us as spiritual beings which
allow us to have a “human experience.” Like the tools
that we use to fix things around the house, the body is a good tool
to the extent that we can use it to do what we want it to do. A
hammer, for example, is a good tool if I want to drive in a nail.
It is not a good tool if I want to screw in a screw. So, whether
or not the body is a good tool depends on what we want to use it
for. The ideal body I would need to climb a mountain would be very
different from the ideal body I would need to lift heavy weights.
As an aside, I once met a weight lifter and he openly admitted that
his goal was to become as “grotesque” as possible. By
“grotesque” he meant having oversized muscles that to
most people would appear ugly. Since people have different goals,
it becomes obvious that there is no such thing as “the perfect
body.” If your body does what you want it to do, then fine.
For all practical purposes it is perfect for you. If, on the other
hand, it will not do what you want it to do, then clearly it is
less than perfect. Take, for example, body weight. We are constantly
bombarded by the media with images of “perfect” bodies
– usually young and slim, suntanned and sexy. This may be
fine if you are young and single, looking for a mate who also has
a “perfect” body. But what if you are in your fifties
or sixties, married and with children/grandchildren? The ideal body
weight is more likely to relate to health and energy than whether
or not you look sexy in a bikini. A logical approach would be to
make a list of all the things you would like to be able to use a
body for. Then ask yourself “What kind of body would be best
for these purposes?” At this stage I would stress don’t
try to be “reasonable.” If my goal were to climb Mount
Everest then I would need a body that was extremely tough and able
to endure a lot of hardship. The fact that at my age (66) I am unlikely
to develop such a body doesn’t matter. I say this because
in all my years as a counselor I have never come across anyone who
had a goal that was totally impracticable. And let’s suppose
that climbing Mount Everest were my goal and that the chances of
my achieving this are virtually nil, this would still not prevent
me working to develop a body that could at least climb smaller mountains
or hills.
For the sake of illustration, here’s my list of what I should
like my body to be able to do. I would stress that this is my list.
Your list may well be very different. My list is not necessarily
in order of priority, nor is it complete. Here goes:
- My body should in normal everyday
situations function effortlessly and without a whole lot of
distracting aches and pains.
- My brain should function well.
For example, reading and writing and communicating with others.
- My body should be able to go
through a normal day’s activities without becoming unduly
tired.
- My body should sleep soundly
and wake refreshed after 7 or 8 hours sleep.
- My body should be able to remain
motionless and in a relaxed state for some hours at a time.
- My body should be strong enough
to walk, kayak or bike for some hours at a time, and do some
of the heavier jobs around the house.
That will do for the moment. You
will note that I have not put anything totally “unreasonable.”
Not because I couldn’t have but simply because the “unreasonable”
did not seem especially relevant. I have found this typical when
people make their list.
The next step is to review the list. In practice it is difficult
to work with too long a list. 5-10 items is sufficient. If you
have more, consider combining some or eliminating those which
are less important.
It can be helpful to give yourself a grade. For example, on a
1-10 scale, with 10 being the most optimum, where are you? You
can take the whole list or grade each item separately. As an overall
grade I’d give myself a 5. A long way to go but, compared
with this time last year, when I wouldn’t have given myself
more than a 2, some real progress.
The main reason for giving oneself a grade is so that you can
refer back to it. I have noticed that very often people make improvements,
obvious to me and to the people around them, which they are not
aware of. If, on the other hand, you grade yourself regularly
– say, weekly or monthly – the improvement usually
is obvious. And if there is no improvement that is obvious too!
Before taking any action to improve one’s score, let’s
discuss two tools that many people find very helpful: visualization
and affirmations. Visualization is simple creating a mental picture
(though we are using the term picture in a broad sense to include
all the senses) of the desired result. Some people can do this
very easily; for others it takes work and practice; and for a
few it doesn’t work well at all. The more complete the visualization
the better. If external props (for example sketches, pictures
or photos) help, use them by all means. The important thing is
repetition. It helps if one is in a relaxed state – though
this is not essential. Especially good times are before one falls
asleep and when one wakes up before one is fully awake. These
are times when one has a predominance of alpha brain waves, which
allows easier access to the subconscious mind. If you are not
quite sure what to visualize, experiment. For example, if you
are trying to visualize your ideal body weight but are not quite
sure what that would be, try one version and see how you like
it; if you don’t like it, try another, and so on. After
a while you will come up with a visualization you are comfortable
with and one that doesn’t keep changing. Remember too that
you can always change it later on, so it doesn’t have to
be perfect.
Affirmations are positive statements that one makes to oneself.
There is an important distinction between affirmations and visualization.
When visualizing try to visualize the desired end result. It does
not matter if there may be a big difference between how things
are now and how you would like them to be. An affirmation, however,
works best if it is a believable statement that applies now. For
example, “I can become slim and attractive” is not
a good affirmation because it will always apply to the future,
not the present. And “I am slim and attractive” is
not a good affirmation if you have difficulty believing it. It
is fine to visualize yourself as slim and attractive. For the
affirmation, however, something like “I am becoming slimmer
and more attractive” or “I can become slim and attractive”
would work better. Again, repetition is important and, as with
visualization, before going to sleep and before you are really
awake are good times. Regarding visualization and affirmations,
you may find that one works better than the other. Feel free to
experiment. Use one or the other, or combine both. Whatever works
best.
Now for the real “work”: making and executing a plan.
Go to your list and either take one of the low scoring items or
take one of the items that seems easiest to tackle. For example,
in my case, improving the quality of my sleep, although low scoring,
didn’t seem especially easy to do anything about. On the
other hand, improving my strength seemed more manageable. So Dee
(my wife) and I are going to the gym and exercising more. Don’t
try to make too many changes at one time. Make one change. Groove
it in. Make sure you are comfortable with it and that you can
maintain the change. Then add something new. Don’t rush.
It has taken you a long time to get where you are. Don’t
expect changes overnight; keep doing the above and you will notice
improvements. Periodically review you plan. You may need to make
changes or fine-tune it
Optimum health? So far we have only looked at the body. But there
is much more to it than that. There’s the whole spirit-mind-body
connection or, as I prefer it, the spirit-mind-emotion-body connection.
Watch for Part Two in the next issue.
David Findlay, co-founder of
New Times Naturally! and a retired counselor, is now devoting
himself to research and writing. (727) 239-0029.
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