[How play and imagination grow
confidence]
It is not through boundless praise,
dear parents, that we build a child’s solid base of self-esteem.
Too much praise, in fact, can have quite the opposite effect in
that a child comes to depend on it or becomes far too self conscious
than is healthful for such a tender young age. Children see through
the shallowness of exaggerated praise and, wanting truth, albeit
unconsciously, they are confused and left adrift with no solid anchor
of reality.
How, then, do we best help children to gain a genuine self-esteem
that will serve them throughout life? To attempt to answer this
question I will describe a day in the life of my kindergarten where
I teach twelve children who range in age from three and one half
to six in what is probably one of few, if not the only play-centered
kindergarten to be found in the Tampa Bay area.
Kindergarten is meant to be a child’s garden, a place of unhurried
imaginative play, singing, rhythms, painting, storytelling and simple
experiences with the natural world. It is meant to be a gentle transition
from home and a safe and secure place for getting ready for school.
Alas, the modern world no longer allows time for children to dwell
peacefully in a child’s garden as kindergarten teachers are
now forced to bring what was previously the first grade curriculum
to five-year olds and soon to four-year olds as well.
At 8:30 I sing in a high and soft voice “Come along children,
come on running” and my little charges leave the outdoor play
yard and come dashing to the door of the Marigold Kindergarten where
they take off their outside shoes and set them, as Mrs. Bedingfield
showed them at the beginning of the year, like “little soldiers”
on the step of our porch. It is Tuesday and all of the things for
bread making lie under a clean white cloth on the table in the center
of the room. (Children yearn for routine and repetition in their
lives. The more parents can keep to a regular schedule of meals
and bedtime, the more secure children will feel and this security
is a necessary pre-requisite for the development of self-esteem.)
A few children put on the white aprons that have been carefully
set out and go to wash their hands while the others start right
in to their morning play. Huitzil and Geovani create “boats”
from four chairs and fetch their homemade fishing poles. “I
want a hook,” Huitzil pleads and I tie a cup hook onto his
line to his great satisfaction. My bread makers take their seats
and watch as I knead the dough and then pass out little balls of
dough for them to knead and form. They happily work with the dough
and at last announce, “I’m finished,” as they
place their balls or “pancakes” on the bread pan for
baking. Soon the fragrance of baking bread is filling our kindergarten
as the play gets in full swing. Houses have been made with light
cotton play cloths with proper doors that one must knock on to come
in. Shanon, the queen, saunters by in her cape and crown and “kitties”
are led by their owners for long walks. (Studies abound on the necessity
of play for play’s sake, make believe play wherein a child
has an opportunity to make sense of her world, to try on roles,
to imagine and transform a stick into a fishing pole. A child who
has not been able to give herself up to play will have a less developed
sense of self-esteem.)
At 10:00 I begin to clean in one particular area in the room when
a child notices and announces, “It’s clean-up time.”
“Oh-h-h,” comes a voice, “we just got started!”
Nevertheless, as Mrs. Bedingfield assigns the jobs, they take on
their tasks as “the laundry person to gather the cloths,”
“the clip man” to collect all the wooden play clips,
“the stonemason” to gather all the smooth river stones,
“the mother” to tidy the doll corner, put the dolls
to bed and sing a lullaby, and so on. When all the tasks are completed
everyone joins in to fold the two piles of silk and cotton cloths.
“Shake, shake, make it straight,” two children chime
as they work together to fold a long yellow cotton play cloth. Younger
ones delight in dashing under the cloths that the older ones are
folding, collapsing in giggles as they scramble around. (Young children
are not able of themselves to clean their rooms, but they love to
help the grownups, particularly if this becomes a regular part of
the day. Their ability to bake bread, set the table, and help clean
up lead to a natural feeling of self-esteem.)
At last Miss Lisa, the kindergarten assistant, drapes the French
doors with thick red cloths and the room is darkened for rest time.
“Tell Alice” comes a little voice and others chime in
“Tell about Alice and Dorothy!” I take down my kinderharp
and as I pluck the strings softly I reply, “Oh, we’ll
see if an Alice story can come. Children must be resting.”
An immediate quiet settles over the group as they lie outstretched
circling round their teacher. I reach in the pockets of my imagination
and memory for a story about Alice who, unknown to the children,
is their teacher when she was a little girl growing up in rural
Alabama. Out comes the story of Alice and Dorothy playing in the
thick pine woods and making play houses with the piles of fallen
pine needles. The children hang on every word and never stir except
to get up when Miss Lisa calls them for hand washing. (A child whose
parents dare to tell a story is a lucky child, indeed, a child who
is surrounded by the warmth of the human voice and allowed to drink
from the wellspring of the parent’s imagination. The close
bonding which results builds a strong self-esteem —“My
parents care enough to be author-ities.”)
The red curtains are drawn and the morning sun once more pours into
the room, a signal that now it is circle time. “Let us form
a ring, dancing as we sing,” we all sing together as we circle
around, arms lifted. A little table holding a candle is placed in
the center of the circle, the candle is lit and a morning verse
is recited: “Around me many beings live, around me there are
many things, also in my heart God speaks to the world and He speaks
best when I can love everything that is around me.” Again
we sing, “Morning has come, night is away, we rise with the
sun and welcome the day.” Again we recite: “Hearts open
wide, light streams inside, here I stand, giving all my hand. And
here begins a full circle of songs, movements, and verses that celebrate
the season of the year, the natural world, and the joy of childhood.
Splish, Splash, Splish, Splash
Here’s how we walk in the rain
Splish, Splash, Splish, Splash
Here’s how we walk in the rain
It’s splash we run through the puddles
It’s splosh we skip through the rain
It’s splish we turn round the corner
And go back home again
We move around the circle splashing
in make-believe puddles, running and skipping in great delight.
And how this verse came to life when on a day of soft misty rain,
we all donned boots, raincoats and rain hats to splash in real puddles
outside.
(Children thrive when they hear songs and verses from those they
love. Recorded music and television programs are a cold substitute.)
One last song of “Polly Put the Kettle On” as we skip
around the circle and then we file into our snack room to sit at
our table that Miss Lisa and two children set earlier. Flowered
ceramic bowls are stacked at each teacher’s place to be filled
with hot oatmeal and raisins. Blue tablecloths cover the wooden
tables that are pulled together and flowers picked on our Monday
morning walk fill small glass vases in the middle of each table.
We sing a grace: “Blessings on the blossoms, blessings on
the root, blessings on the leaf and stem and blessings on the fruit.”
And all chorus together, “Blessings on our meal!”
The teachers fill the bowls and children pass them. Glass cups are
filled with water. Conversation is lively, unlike on Wednesdays
when the children are silently
eating the bread they have made the day before that has been spread
by them earlier in the morning with butter and at snack time has
honey as well dripping from it. (Surrounding a child with beauty
in a well-set table with flowers, making the meal an occasion, pausing
to offer thanks in a simple verse, these small details help the
child to feel that he is held in high esteem)
Mrs. Bedingfield announces “Today Matthew and Anevay”
are the dishwashers with Miss Lisa. No protests arise as everyone
knows they all take a turn on a particular day to help with dishes.
At the end of the snack, napkins are folded and placed in the napkin
bags and I ask Evan to collect them in the basket. “The children
are holding hands,” I say in my sing-song voice and we all
join hands and say, “Thank you for our meal.”
Huitzil rushes to be first out the door carrying his chair to the
story circle while the rest of us shake our heads over his urge
to be first in spite of the story Mrs. Bedingfield told about the
little gnome whose friends tricked him into eating a green persimmon
to teach him a lesson about always trying to be first. (In our teacher
training we learn the art of telling a curative story as a way to
address behaviors that need to change in the young child. This more
indirect way of modifying behavior helps to preserve their self-esteem.)
By now only an occasional, “The children will put on their
hats,” is needed by the teacher to remind them that hats are
required for outside play. The children quickly put on their outside
shoes and head for the sand box and the red wagons. Some who want
to play horse ask for a leather rein. A wonderful outbreathing takes
place outside as the children run, climb, jump, dig, swing, slide,
skip, and balance. I watch from a distance as I knit small yellow
chicks for the felted Easter eggs they are making and only intervene
when necessary. “Did you tell him you don’t like that?”
I reply to one who has a complaint. Her head shakes “no,”
and she runs over to voice her objections. (Help children to find
their own voices so they can learn to handle any social situation.)
“Come along children, come on running,” I sing again
to call them in from play. Miss Lisa has lavender water for washing
hands and a clean soft towel and as they enter the kindergarten
they find their chair that has been placed in a semi-circle in front
of the teacher’s rocker. I hand out cups of water and sit
calmly and quietly to set the mood for story. We first have to name
the children who are not here and the children raise their hands
quietly as they have at last learned to do to offer a name. That
finished, teacher lights the candle and sings “Story teller,
story teller, tell me a lovely story” as the children join
in. And then begins the story, “Once upon a time…”
and with mouths open as if they are literally drinking in the riches
of these fairy tales the children sit quietly to hear, perhaps for
the fifth time, this magical tale of a frog who becomes a prince.
(Creating a quiet space for the telling or the reading of a story,
creating some little ritual at bedtime, will live in the hearts
of children and do more for self-esteem than any amount of praise)
“Snip, snap, snout, my tale is all told out,” we all
say together at the end and the children wait expectantly for me
to draw a symbol from the basket that will name who is to put out
the candle. I reach into a basket held on top of my head and pull
out a yellow star. Huitzil brightens and with great glee snuffs
out the flame. The children return their chairs to the snack table
and then form a ring for a closing song. “Goodbye now, goodbye
now, we leave you now and home we go, goodbye now, goodbye now,
goodbye to all of you. It’s time to go or we’ll be late,
let Hawken lead us to the gate. Goodbye now, goodbye now we’ll
see you soon again.”
And so ends a typical kindergarten day. The elements of this unhurried
day, drawn from Rudolf Steiner’s knowledge of the developing
human being, truly nourish the soul, spirit and body of the young
child and this nourishment flowers into healthy self-esteem for
a lifetime.
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