[Lessons about relationships from
A Course in Miracles.]
A Course in Miracles would say we are here to learn how to love
everyone. The course does not say we are to sleep with everyone.
Our popular culture has taught us that in order to love one another,
we are supposed to help by giving advice, telling others how to
do things, solve their problems for them. The Course, on the other
hand, does not suggest these ways. It suggests that we are to treat
one another the way our elder brother, Jesus, would if he were standing
here with us today. That means we are to love one another by seeing
the Truth in them, and seeing the Truth in every situation that
we are in. It is about supporting other people exactly as they are.
How do we do that?
Suppose you are having a painful relationship or situation in your
life and someone comes along and says, “Why are you handling
it that way? Why don’t you get off your duff and do it this
way?” Would that be the sort of thing Jesus might say? I doubt
it. If Jesus probably wouldn’t do it, then it’s a safe
guess that it is likely not the loving thing for me or you to do.
A Course in Miracles says we are called to love others by seeing
the Truth in every situation. This means first, that we are asked
to see them as they truly are, see them as God created them, whole
and perfect. We are to see them not as human beings having a spiritual
experience, but as spiritual beings having a human experience. And
we are being asked to perceive every relationship as the ideal circumstance
that each one needs so we can learn the lessons we came here to
learn. Just consider a friend who is involved in a relationship
that isn’t working. The Course would say there are lessons
in that situation for you to learn (not just for your friend to
learn). Could it be that you are being judgmental of your friend?
Or perhaps an acquaintance is facing a debilitating illness. Is
your lesson to see him as sick, frail and dying? Or is your lesson
to perceive that he is not a body but a spirit having a bodily experience.
And also to perceive that you are not a body! Do you get that?
The Course would say that we don’t know what lessons anyone
else needs. Our task in this world is to learn our own lessons.
And every situation, every relationship carries with it some lesson
we, ourselves, need to learn.
So we might ask ourselves, “How many times do I need to repeat
this behavior in my relationships before I will learn the lesson
God is trying to teach me? Should I replace this relationship with
another one and repeat the same behavior? Or shall I love them exactly
as God created them, and realize this is my lesson here?”
The Course instructs us what to do when we are faced with any difficult
relationship. We are to quiet our minds; we are to let go of thoughts
of the past and thoughts of the future; we are to bring our thoughts
to the present moment; and from the stillness of our Inner Self
we are to ask the Inner Spirit what to do, where to go, what to
say and to whom. And then listen for the answer. We can’t
do this if our mind is cluttered with a bunch of “solutions”
from our past relationships. We can’t do this if we are having
fear thoughts about the future. We can only hear the Inner Voice
when our mind is clear. We can only hear it when we are willing
to receive a miracle. We can only hear it when we are ready to receive
a miraculous new perception.
A Course in Miracles would say that only God knows what is needed
in every relationship. We don’t know! Our job is to get out
of the way and let God do it for us. Then, as our thoughts become
quiet and we let go of thoughts of the past and the future, there
is a space for the Voice for God to give us all the answers we need
to help us learn to love ourselves and others.
So loving each other is not about trying to make things happen.
It is more about staying out of the way so God can work miracles.
Loving relationships are about supporting others in the place where
they are. Loving each other is about holding hands through the challenges
of life. Loving each other also means that we are to love the dark
side of the other. And we all have a side that is sometimes not
very lovable. We are to love the divine inner part of each other.
Loving each other is simple when we let God tell us what to do in
every situation by listening to our Inner Voice for Truth and treating
each other with God’s kind of love.
Dave Hunt has been leading A Course
in Miracles study groups for more than 15 years in the Clearwater
area. Contact him for further information at (727) 463-5211 or
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