July/August 2002
Feature Articles
Holistic Health Q & A
by Dr. George Forster
Of whiplash and prescription drugs.
What is... the Organic Movement?
by Robert Roman
Part one of a three-part article detailing
the author's personal experiences and the growth of the organic movement.
UnCommon Sense!
by David Findlay
The Middle East, terrorism, weapons
of mass destruction.
Articles on the theme "To Worry Or Not To Worry"
What, Me Worry?
by AnneMarie Dyer
A vacation leads to some spiritual
insights.
Worrier To Warrior
by Lisa Raphael
The difference between someone who
worries and a warrior, a person of courage and vigor.
The Righteous Worrier!
by Rev. D. Kaye Patrick
Does worry really mean loving and caring?
Or is worrying a waste of time and energy?
Let It Go!
by Tracy Woolrich
Easy to say, but how to do it?
Why Worry?
by Bob Murray PhD
The underlying cause of over-anxious
reactions and generalized worry - and the solution.
A Balancing Act
by Charles Larsen
Of over-reacting and under-reacting
and the attempt to find a middle ground.
Too Blessed To Be Stressed
by Rev. Pat Cross
The power to choose between a human
or a spiritual view of our problems.
Remember Scarlett O'Hara
by Dave Hunt
A life without worry? How to achieve
it?
Why Worry?
by Bob Murray, PhD
"Don't Worry, Be Happy!" I thought of the words of the song as I sat looking at Michael, a Very Important Person, in the chair opposite me in my psychotherapy office. In his early 50s, his tan, fit physique and Ralph Lauren sportswear proclaimed him healthy and prosperous. Surely he had all the requirements for happiness? But a closer inspection revealed deep furrows between his eyes, a taut mouth and fidgety hands. He was obviously unhappy.
"I am successful," he began. This was not a bolt from the blue: the man was CEO of a major company. "But I'm always anxious. I worry that it's all going to collapse that my wife will leave me, that the company will fail, that my kids will hate me everything."
Many people suffer from this generalized anxiety, an underlying feeling that they are unsafe and a potential failure no matter how rich, powerful or successful they are. Reality is swallowed in worry, sometimes to the extent that life becomes unbearable.
A certain level of anxiety is innate to us, and necessary for a balanced perception of reality. Just as our ancestors' survival depended on a certain level of worry so does our psycho-emotional survival. The ability to be anxious keeps us on a low level of alert, the hunter-gatherer within us listening for signs of the approaching saber-tooth tiger. There are real things to be anxious about, to worry over at an appropriate level.
However an over-anxious reaction to a particular situation or a generalized worry about everything can be a sign of a potentially serious problem.
Neurochemically Michael's problem can be explained as aggravated levels of the stress-hormone noradrenaline in his brain something which "type A" personalities and aggressive gang members share. Noradrenaline is also one of the neurochemicals involved in depression, and in many ways generalized anxiety and depression are part and parcel of the same thing. Recent studies have shown that generalized anxiety is just another way in which depression manifests itself.
So what's the solution? Shove some antidepressant or sedative pills down Michael's gullet? Lay him for years on the analyst's couch? Teach him meditation techniques? The answers are: probably not, certainly not, and yes but it's not enough.
Anxiety and depression are rooted in early childhood experience. In Michael's case that experience included an aggressive, work-centered father and a browbeaten, depressive, mother. He got little praise and even when it was grudgingly given it was only for achievement. Anything less than super success at school, or in sport, was treated with derision.
Step one then is to show Michael that he developed an idealization of his father along with certain coping mechanisms to enable him to deal with the situation. Through his father he came to see home as less important than work, and relationships as less valuable than career achievement. His sense of self-esteem came to depend on his being noticed and praised for his success in business. As a child, so long as he was a "success" he was able to get his father's attention and deflect his rage and derision. As an adult the "inner father" still hounded him and he was still striving to placate that parental voice.
But the inner father is never satisfied just like the straight As were never really good enough for the real one. The derisive voice is always there, goading him to try harder. All the pills in the world will never get rid of that voice. He is simply not good enough, and will never be good enough for Father.
If he's not good enough then eventually people will see him for the failure he really is his wife will leave (why would she stay with such a phony?), his business friends will desert him (ditto) and the whole house of cards he has built up will fall.
Of course it's idiotic. The voice is lying. Michael must be brought to recognize the voice, understand whose it is and where it comes from and acknowledge the lie. He must be made aware that all his actions and relationships have been based on the lie, and he must be helped to devise new behavioral patterns.
In my experience this part of the process of change can happen quite quickly. Years of conventional psychotherapy are probably not needed or useful (a recent study found that up to 80% of people who had gone through long-term cognitive-behavioral therapy CBT for depression had relapsed after two years).
Virtually all people who suffer from depression and generalized anxiety, at whatever level, have a voice from the past dictating to them. Most often the voice is parental, though it can be that of any significant older individual (sibling, aunt, uncle, teacher) or a combination of individuals. The child believes at the deepest level that these people are perfect and that therefore what they say must be right. The adult continues the pattern and, at a subconscious level, tries to make them right.
Having got Michael to recognize the root of his problems and to begin to devise alternative behavioral strategies the next and most important stage is to show him how to form really satisfying and supportive relationships. Ones that meet his real needs as opposed to the dysfunctional ones derived from childhood programming. Unless these needs are met, all therapy is useless and all drugs are wasted. But this will have to be the subject of another article.
Bob Murray, Ph.D. is a psychologist and author who teaches
courses at major universities in the US and Australia. He is co-founder
of the Uplift Program, which combats depression and anxiety and helps create
really supportive relationships. The next Uplift will be held at the Univeristy
of South Florida in early November. bob@upliftprogram.com
- www.upliftprogram.com
Copyright (c) 2002 Altnewtimes,
Inc. All rights reserved.
No part of this web site my be reproduced without written permission of Altnewtimes, Inc.
E-mail dee@altnewtimes.com