March/April 2002
Feature Articles
Holistic Health Q & A
by Karen R. Raymund
Of PMS, premenopausal weight-gain,
and osteoporosis.
What is... Psychotherapy?
by Charles Larsen
Of various schools of psychotherapy
and what to expect and look for.
EnergyUpDate
by David Findlay
Articles on the theme "Good & Bad Habits"
Teaching Good Habits
by Barbara Bedingfield
A Waldorf teacher's viewpoint on how
adults should teach children the importance of good habits.
Mother Of All Bad Habits
by Aman Motwane
The habit of chasing illusions rather
than seeing the world as it is and dealing wih reality.
It's All Habit
by Patrick Plaskett
Using the mechanism of habits to get
the results in life that we want.
Improving Your Game
by Rev. Pat Cross
The effect habits have on our lives.
Using good habits to accentuate the positive.
The Fewer the Better
by Lisa Raphael
Letting go of habits and, instead,
living fully conscious of our thoughts, feelings and actions.
Changing From The Inside
by Rev. Linda Lou Kearns
Having the courage to be completely
honest, getting "out of the box."
Peace of Mind
by David Hunt
"A Course in Miracels" approach
to habits.
The Essence of a Habit
by Daniel DeFrank
How to replace negative habits with
life enhancing ones using the power of our thoughts.
Habits, Physical and Mental
by Betty Perry
Of behavior patterns and patterns of
thought. How they affect our lives.
Changing From The Inside
Rev. Linda Lou Kearns
When I first saw the theme "Good and Bad Habits," I began making a list of habits I thought were good: punctuality, exercise, healthy eating, drinking 8 glasses of water a day, etc. The bad ones were also easy to pinpoint: smoking, excessive drinking, unhealthy eating, procrastination, shopping excessively etc. Then I realized that so much of life is spent in judgment of others and of self. When we judge others it is a certain sign that we are judging ourselves. Most of us have the "critical committee" inside our heads that continually tells us how we don't measure up. It is precisely because this committee "lives" inside our head that bad habits can continue to exist. We need to do something to quiet the voice and we rationalize that our habit does that. Of course, it doesn't. Our response is usually to step up the habit. After all, it worked in the past, didn't it?
The first thing necessary in embracing wholeness for ourselves is not cutting off or disowning any part of ourselves. Instead of using the words "bad" or "good" habits I began to think of behaviors that enhance my life versus behaviors that take away from the quality of my life. Secondly, I realize that even those behaviors that take away from the quality of my life are there to serve me. Huh? How in the world could that be? Initially, when the behavior began it thought it was in my best interest. Perhaps it assisted me in relaxing, relieving stress, or even to survive. I suggest that we get quiet and answer honestly what purpose the habit serves. Let's have the courage to be completely honest with ourselves. The I Ching says: "It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized." Do I believe drinking makes me courageous or helps me forget my emotional pain? Do I believe smoking relaxes me or is a reward for working hard? Do I believe eating unhealthy food is a reward or is a way to stuff my anger? Does overworking or overspending keep me numb so I don't feel or have to deal with what's in front of me? Let's be honest about why we are doing the behavior that doesn't enhance our life. With honesty we admit that a habit really no longer serves us.
To do this requires great courage. Some habits have been intact for many years. Usually we feel unable to make the change or we already would have done so. Part of the reason we feel powerless is because we label ourselves or others label us. From the day we are born we begin accumulating labels. Thomas Merton says: "Others can give you a name or a number, but they can never tell you who you really are. That is something you yourself can discover from within". What is required is that we go within and connect with the power that is greater than us... call it God, Higher Power, Spirit, Goddess, whatever you will, but call on It, connect with It, and use It. We all have equal access to this Power, We realize that we are more than a habit or a label. We ARE a Spiritual Being having a human experience. By accessing this Power, we realize now that we have choice. We do not need to be driven by previous behaviors. Most of our lives are "boxed" in by our belief systems. To get out of the box we must change. Einstein says: "One cannot alter a condition with the same mind-set that created it in the first place." We must BE the new behavior. Wishing or wanting simply isn't enough. To be someone different we must change and BE someone different.
When we choose to change we can count on the ego resisting the change no matter how positive the change is. Your ego (your concept of self) knows that having what you want means changing who you are and will turn up the volume of the "committee" in your head trying to convince you to go back to the old, comfortable way of doing things. Your ego's mission in life is: "the survival of its being whoever it perceives itself to be." (Werner Erhard) We must change who we are from the inside out. We must transform our consciousness. We go within and become our own midwife: birthing transformation and positive new behavior. The breath and connection to our inner power allows us to break the old pattern. When the transformation is successful, our ego will take over the job of defending the new reality
It takes around 21 days to rewire the brain. First, we need a plan to support our new behavior. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Second, we live one day at a time. One of my favorite quotes is: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift, that is why they call it the present." In this present moment I can access my inner power. There is a song, "Yesterday Ended Last Night." Let's really embody and believe that. Every day is a new beginning. Every moment is a new beginning. When we are in touch with our inner power and committed, all things are possible. I have learned deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: "Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." Providence takes over when you make a committed choice for a new way of being.
Rev. Linda Lou Kearns is the minister of the Suncoast Religious Science Church in Palm Harbor FL. She is also a speaker, workshop facilitator, and counselor. (727) 946-2366. Rev.LindaLou@Suncoast RS.org.
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