July/August 2000
Articles on the theme "Exploring and Adventure"
The Way of the Adventurer
by Bob Gonzalez
The inspiration of the classical Greek
adventurer, Odysseus -- whom the Romans called Ulysses -- as portrayed in
Tennyson's poem "Ulysses."
Exploring with Wonder
by Kathy Houston
The adventure of life. Exploring it
with the wonder and imaginings of a child.
A Spiritual Adventure
by Rev. Pat Cross
Making a new start at any age -- an
exploration and adventure in consciousness... the ultimate eternal adventure.
Exploring the Adventure Within
by Ron Graham
The adventure of becoming One with
the universal mind of God.
Life's Adventures
by Linda Bothwell
From birth to falling in love, to Self-realization
Exploring Body/Mind Healing
by Ernesto J. Fernandez
An approach to healing that helps define
the best 'road map' and the best forms of treatment.
Exploring God as Process
by Rev. Pat Palmer
God as not only the source of everything
that is but also as the unfolding of every event that occurs.
Why Explore?
by Patrick Plaskett
How exploration helps us see the world
and ourselves differently -- and get more out of life.
Exploring the Self
by Edwina H. Holloway
The greatest adventure of all, the
excavation of our true Self.
A Learning Adventue
by Rev. Cydné Battreall
The story of a mother and daughter
in the adventure of a lifetime.
The Lure of Adventure
by Charles Larsen
What exploration and adventure consist
of. Achieving a state of mind to experience them.
Other Feature Articles
Natural Health Q & A
by Kim Gillespie
Concerning cocaine and drug abuse.
2000 & Beyond!
by David Findlay
What is... Sustainable/Organic Agriculture?
by Robert Roman
What sustainable/organic agriculture
is and why it is superior to commercial agriculture.
Minerals from Mother Earth
by Judy Power
Features stones for July and August:
jade and charoite.
A Learning Adventure
by Rev. Cydné Battreall
Walking a path of self-discovery and inner-truth is the adventure of a lifetime. Recently I was honored with an opportunity to guide my daughter deeper into hers.
Two days after Mother's Day my twenty-four-year-old daughter Allison presented me with a request to guide her in her latest quest for self-acceptance and freedom from guilt about not being a good mother and verbally abusing her husband.
Allison diminishes herself greatly by using guilt and self-destructive behaviors as weapons of punishment. Especially where her six-year-old son is concerned. This in turn fires up her addictions cycle to stuff, self-loathing and guilt. She has used alcohol, drugs, cigarette smoking, food (binge or starving), as well as constant judgment, criticism and belittling others.
She recently made a decision to own and eliminate many of these behaviors. She decided to ask for my help. I knew it was in perfect divine right order after all, I was her most formidable teacher.
I found myself sitting in front of my daughter listening and watching her feel feelings and shed tears. I was amazed. This was a brilliant young woman who would create and do absolutely anything to avoid feeling her feelings! She began sharing some of the decisions she'd made as a mother that haunted her. Working double shifts, and single shifts on nights and sleeping days, and not being there for him. Guilt-ridden tears streamed down her face. I asked her a simple question. "Allison, where did you learn to do these things? Who modeled this parenting style for you?" Her eyes popped wide open and she had a hard time looking at me while she quietly answered, "You?" I said, "Yes Ma'am. I was your teacher!" Workaholism was one of my biggest addictions during her childhood years. Working double shifts and seven days a week certainly takes your mind off emotional pain. I shared with her that you can only repeat what you learn. (My father gave everything he had to a struggling chiropractic practice in the 1960s. I hardly ever saw him.) You can only model what you know. Then I asked her, "How could you possibly know to do it any different?" Her eyes widened as she began to see the pattern.
She continued sharing things about herself she didn't like. "I talk down to my husband. I'm belittling him constantly." Again, I asked her, "Allison, how do you know to speak that way? Who taught you to treat people like this?" Her eyes got a little wider yet. She quickly glanced up, then down, and back up at me again, squirmed a little in her chair and said, "You?" My reply was again, "Yes Ma'am! I would belittle you and put you down in front of your friends. When you were younger I was totally stuck on stupid! I had such low self-esteem I would find myself berating you so that I could feel better about myself. I would talk down to others so I wouldn't have to feel how badly I felt about myself on the inside. My brother and step-brother taught it to me, and I taught it to you." Again, I repeated this truth: "You can only learn what you are taught. Good students (most children are brilliant) repeat what they learn. They set up their adult lives and relationships according to experiences learned about: life, language, anger patterns, partner choices, parenting styles, people pleasing, victimization roles, addictions, etc." Now her eyes were wider than saucers and her mouth was equally as wide open.
I continued: "Allison, how did you learn you were unworthy and non-deserving of love?" She didn't answer me. I added, "Could it have also been when you were four and five years old, all cleaned up and waiting for your father to pick you up on 'his Saturday' and he would call week after week making excuses for not coming to get you?" I continued to guide her, "Place yourself back at the age of four and five and sit on the couch in our family room, and hear the excuses on the phone. What did you make it all mean about you?" Her courage allowed her to move through the maze of feelings and come up with an answer as tears streamed down her cheeks. She choked out: "I made it mean I wasn't worth his time or his love and that I wasn't good enough to get it."
Since she made this decision at four to believe and define herself this way, I asked her, "Allison, what do you believe is true about yourself today at age 24?" She didn't even blink a tear-filled eye. She blurted out, "I AM good enough. I AM worthy of time, attention, love, and respect from men!" And, she continued, "I'm not dumb or stupid. I'm smart! It wasn't about me at all. It was about him and you!" Bingo!!! She got it. Now her eyes were as wide as meat platters, and she was smiling like I'd never seen her smile before. I had her repeat it a few times until I could hear it resonate from beyond her head, over the bridge just built, and connecting from her heart.
The blessings of this experience were:
1. We took responsibility for repeating what we learned.
2. Took our lives back from our teachers.
3. Made decisions to do things differently.
4. Forgave them and ourselves.
5. Released guilt.
6. Accepted our humanity.
7. Embraced ourselves as spiritual beings striving to BE better.
8. Came to love ourselves and others more.
My daughter created the opportunity to reclaim Who She Really Is, and through her courage allowed her mother to do the same. Equally amazing opportunities await you on your adventure to self-discovery when you stop running, feel feelings and discover the truth of Who You Really Are! I promise you, "The truth will surely set you free!"
Cydné Battreall, A.M., N.L.P., is a certified neuro-linguistic
programming practitioner. Tampa (813) 949-4250. Clearwater FL (727) 946-9434.
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