September/October 1999
Articles on the theme "Attachment & Detachment"
Life's Parade
by Bob Gonzalez
Of death, meditation, possessions and
true detachment.
Responding Resourcefully to Criticism
Cydné Battreall
Learning to detach or disassociate
to create new ways of responding to criticism.
The Ultimate Release
by Constance Felos
Forgiveness: the conscious, energetic
release of debilitating attachment. Death of the body: the ultimate release
of physical attachment.
You and Your Thoughts
by Patrick Plaskett
The problems of identifying ourselves
with our thoughts and emotional responses.
Cultivating Detachment
by Dr. Neil Cooper
Detachment as part of a spiritual practice.
Its role in connecting us with Source, Spirit, Energy, Qi, Consciousness.
In The Heart of God
by Ron Graham
How attachment and detachment can be
good or bad. Sorting out which is which.
Attachment & Detachment - Their Hidden Meaning
by Magzcha Westerman
The numerological significance of the
words Attachment and Detachment.
The Rewards of Release
by Dr. Audrey Craft Davis
The rewards of releasing losses to
the universe. Releasing others from the bondage of our thoughts.
Transcending Attachment
by Rev. Pat Cross
Using attachment and detachment to
help us reach a higher spiritual level - a connection with our true Source.
Detachment Brings Joy
by Rev. Nancy L. Buchanan
Of going with the flow to achieve a
positive lifestyle.
Other Feature Articles
Natural Health Q & A
by Dolores Puterbaugh
A discussion of some of the physical
and emotional changes and challenges women face going through menopause.
2000 and Beyond!
by David Findlay/ Patricia Diane Cota-Robles
What is . . . Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)?
by Sam Jarcynski and Greg Stanek
Mineral Kingdom
by Judy Power
Featured stones for September and October:
Peridot and Natrolite.
Natural Health Q & A
by Dolores Puterbaugh
Question
What is perimenopause? What is menopause? And what comprises a holistic approach?
Answer
Perimenopause and menopause comprise the years before, during and after the cessation of menstruation. Perimenopause, a term used frequently in the media recently, refers to the onset of symptoms as the body prepares to end its reproductive years. Menopause refers to the end of menstruation and fertility, but in the past was a catch-all term for the entire process. A holistic approach takes into account that any change impacts every part of a person: physical, emotional and interpersonal.
Question
What physical changes can I expect?
Answer
During perimenopause, the body's production of estrogens, progesterones and testosterone begin to fluctuate and change. These changes can affect blood pressure, digestive system, vision, memory, mood, sex drive, skin, sleep patterns, and increase the risk of cancer and osteoporosis. It is vital to have honest communication with a physician to discuss your specific concerns and health management, including nutrition, supplements, exercise, and natural and synthetic hormone treatments. Each woman enters this stage with a unique health history, habits and body chemistry, so there is no single approach to proactively manage the changes of mid-life.
Question
Since this is a normal stage, shouldn't a woman expect to go through this without problems?
Answer
Some women go through this stage without hot flashes, sleep disturbances, mood swings or other discomforts caused by fluctuating hormones. Many life events are natural, but not easy for everyone. Childbirth is a good example.
Question
What does this physical change have to do with emotional and interpersonal concerns?
Answer
Emotional well-being results from adapting to life changes in positive ways. During mid-life, these changes may include children leaving home, changes in job status, changes in parents' health, and changes in social supports.
Question What can be done to deal with these changes? Again, aren't we talking about the natural course of life?
Answer
In societies centered on a multi-generational family structure, involvement with children continues via nieces, nephews and grandchildren. Young adults rely on elders as sources of expertise and wisdom. Roles and duties change slowly, allowing for a more comfortable pace of exploration and adaptation. This is more in keeping with the type of life stages suggested by theorists like Eriksen.
In a detached and mobile society, normal lifespan evolution can result in dramatic changes in roles, self-perception, daily routine and human interaction. Parents often participate as coaches, leaders or volunteers in their children's activities. When children leave home, the sense of purpose, social interaction, and daily rhythm provided by these activities cease. Use mid-life to discover activities and interests that fit this stage: this minimizes feelings of loss.
The friendships of young adults are often based on work or children's activities. Born of convenience, these friendships may end as children grow or adults leave jobs. One challenge of mid-life is to purposefully develop relationships based on shared values and interests, rather than convenience.
It has become routine to change or refine vocations in mid-life. Early career choices frequently occur by default, or in acquiescence to family expectations. Mid-life is an opportunity to explore abandoned interests and new options. A few generations ago, when retirement became linked to age 65, an age assumed to be only a few years from death, most people were doing physical work that took its toll on the body's resources. Now, adults with a healthy lifestyle at mid-life can expect forty or more years of life. Although one may leave one line of work, there are still many fruitful years to be enjoyed.
Renegotiating roles with aging parents begins now. The necessary discussion of each others' short-term and long-term expectations can be uncomfortable for everyone. Addressing concerns openly will reduce anxiety. Explore options such as power of attorney, living wills and lifestyle support with the appropriate professionals. If you have ongoing concerns about a parent's health, you will need to have the appropriate permission to exchange information with your parent's physician. If your parents live far away, are they expecting to move closer to you, or expecting you to 'move back home' when they need help with daily activities?
Clarify and fortify existing relationships; seek meaningful activities and welcome the resulting interaction with people who share your interests. Far from just 'adapting', you can become invigorated and excited about life's possibilities. Author Barbara Sher, of books including, It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now, and How To Live The Life You Love, describe this stage, especially for women, as being much like the years of late elementary school, when girls are full of energy and not yet in the narrowing, and harrowing, years of adolescence. For these energized women, mid-life brings the energy and freedom to revisit old hopes and dreams.
Question
How do I cope with feeling depressed and sad about what's gone from my life?
Answer
It's important to separate depression from a healthy grieving process. Depression is a consistently low mood, lasting most of the time for days, and may include changes in sleep or appetite, feeling hopeless or worthless, no longer enjoying activities previously pleasurable, and even thoughts of death or dying. This is very serious, and people who feel this way should contact their physician immediately to rule out any physical causes and, if appropriate, seek help from a mental health professional.
Any life change brings loss and opportunity. You will naturally feel sad when a child leaves home. It is difficult adapting to the physical changes of maturation. Making fresh starts in relationships, activities or work brings healthy anxiety. Act now to enrich your life, and experience continued growth and joy.
Dolores Puterbaugh is a licensed mental health counselor, practicing
in Largo. FL. She can be reached at (727) 559-0863 or puterbaugh@mindspring.com.
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