September/October 1999
Articles on the theme "Attachment & Detachment"
Life's Parade
by Bob Gonzalez
Of death, meditation, possessions and
true detachment.
Responding Resourcefully to Criticism
Cydné Battreall
Learning to detach or disassociate
to create new ways of responding to criticism.
The Ultimate Release
by Constance Felos
Forgiveness: the conscious, energetic
release of debilitating attachment. Death of the body: the ultimate release
of physical attachment.
You and Your Thoughts
by Patrick Plaskett
The problems of identifying ourselves
with our thoughts and emotional responses.
Cultivating Detachment
by Dr. Neil Cooper
Detachment as part of a spiritual practice.
Its role in connecting us with Source, Spirit, Energy, Qi, Consciousness.
In The Heart of God
by Ron Graham
How attachment and detachment can be
good or bad. Sorting out which is which.
Attachment & Detachment - Their Hidden Meaning
by Magzcha Westerman
The numerological significance of the
words Attachment and Detachment.
The Rewards of Release
by Dr. Audrey Craft Davis
The rewards of releasing losses to
the universe. Releasing others from the bondage of our thoughts.
Transcending Attachment
by Rev. Pat Cross
Using attachment and detachment to
help us reach a higher spiritual level - a connection with our true Source.
Detachment Brings Joy
by Rev. Nancy L. Buchanan
Of going with the flow to achieve a
positive lifestyle.
Other Feature Articles
Natural Health Q & A
by Dolores Puterbaugh
A discussion of some of the physical
and emotional changes and challenges women face going through menopause.
2000 and Beyond!
by David Findlay/ Patricia Diane Cota-Robles
What is . . . Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)?
by Sam Jarcynski and Greg Stanek
Mineral Kingdom
by Judy Power
Featured stones for September and October:
Peridot and Natrolite.
The Ultimate Release
by Constance Felos
On January 24, 1999 my father died. Although I was present at his death and have allowed myself to go through a grieving process, for me, the key factor in completing my relationship with him was an act of forgiveness made possible through the understanding and feeling of his pain. Pain, as I refer to it here, is not physical pain. Although feelings of disappointment, abandonment, shame, bitterness and hate can manifest as physical pain usually associated with disease, the pain I speak of here is the emotional pain of early childhood loss, abuse or rejection. It is interesting to note that my dad died of sepsis: a poisoned state, putrefaction, decay. This was the immediate cause of death and the 'toxic state' was brought on by gangrene which set in due to the adhesions that occurred from surgery for colon cancer. The medical diagnosis is only instructive if one considers the entire story of this person who was in fear of death right up until the end.
When my dad was age four his father left the family, one girl, three boys and my grandmother. In 1924, it was not as common as it is today to have a divorce in the family. My father was blamed for his father's abandonment of the family. The older brothers shamed him by pointing at him and saying, "If it weren't for you, dad wouldn't have left us". It seems that about this same time he got a cinder in his eye that he recalled was not given the proper attention, causing, he believed, severe repercussions. The only respite in these feelings of being neglected, rejected, shamed and abandoned occurred when my father's grandmother married a local doctor. This man was kind and loving and cared for the lonely little boy. Unfortunately, when the depression came, grandfather committed suicide. Although the little boy grew up, was educated, served in World War II, worked, had a family and grew old, he never forgot nor did he ever forgive. He carried his pain without words for his entire lifetime. But, the pain sneaked out quite often as his family repeatedly felt the harsh hand of his despair. Verbal abuse was common even with his subordinates at the office. A creative writer and philosopher with an excellent singing voice, he was also dutiful and orderly, so he became an accountant and office manager until he retired at age 65. In his early 50's his eyes showed signs of disease. He began searching for a cure. He campaigned for over 30 years (and too many doctors, operations and medications to count) to see again. But, he never would. He blamed the family who failed to take care of him as a child, he blamed the doctors, the drugs, and most of all he blamed himself. He never said it, just as he never talked about his fear and pain growing up. As he aged, with failing eyesight, he searched for a doctor to help him. While engaged in his fearful decline he was becoming more bitter every day. Yet he would never look inside himself to 'see' the pain that had never been forgiven. Maybe he tried, we'll never know.
If one looks for the metaphysical cause of colon cancer one finds the following mental equivalents: carrying of past hatreds; deep, secret, long-standing resentment eating away at the self; inability to digest and move prior 'toxic' experiences out of the body. And the cause of a gangrenous condition is: mental morbidity, the drowning of joy with poisonous thoughts. So, what really killed my father was his deep, secret resentment and hatred, his inability to forgive, and release his attachment to the belief that life is disappointing, shameful and unloving. He searched and searched for another 'grandfather' in the form of a doctor to save him. But, it could never happen because the only way to 'save' ourselves is to eliminate the real cause of the problem. That process occurs within the self, not in some outside source. No matter how long and hard we search for something outside of ourselves to heal us, we will always come up empty handed.
It is not necessary to endure a physical death in order to be free of that which causes us suffering, our attachments, our crosses. Forgiveness frees us from attachment to the fear engendered by painful, past experiences. The forgiveness process that I engaged in includes anger releasing, visualization, recognition and release of energy blocks within the body, music, sound vibration, understanding, story telling, poetry, dance, ceremony and removal of the mental grip on beliefs through prayer and affirmation. As an outgrowth of my consciously going through the process, I formatted a workshop/course designed to release old beliefs, situations and relationships that no longer serve. I have discovered that when attachments are released one can approach life and death without the fear that appears so rampant in our culture. I hope that, through offering this article regarding actual and personal human suffering, each reader will recognize the importance of releasing one's own personal attachments.
Constance Felos is a writer, lawyer, lecturer, performer,
vibrational healer, certified Louise Hay teacher and a licensed massage
therapist. She and her husband lecture internationally on end of life planning
and death and dying issues. Dunedin, FL. (727) 736-1402 Constancefelos@hotmail.com
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