July/August 1999
Articles on the theme "Lifestyles"
A Look Back
by Dr. Audrey Craft Davis
Reflections on lifestyles when the
writer was a child and how they contrast with today's.
Design Your Own Lifestyle
by Edwina H. Holloway
How to customize your unique lifestyle
to fit your authentic self.
The Spirit of Caring
by Lisa Raphael
The spiritual component of lifestyle.
Comments on Managed Care vs. true caring.
Is Lifestyle Predictable?
by Magzcha Westerman
How numerologically to find the number
that represents your Life Lesson and how that number relates to lifestyle.
The Yogic Lifestyle
by Charlotte Rudeau and Piers Anthony
How yoga can help one achieve a better
lifestyle.
Exploring Your Style of Life
by Elizabeth Fenton and Renée Gillombardo
Developing a lifestyle. How one views
oneself and the world around one. Passion and the authentic self.
A Lifestyle of Love
by Rev. Pat Cross
Creating a lifestyle that is an expression
of the spirit of God within us.
Life's Stylus
by Bob Gonzalez
The connection between 'stylus,' style
and lifestyle. Our unique mark on life. Purpose and universal love.
The Victimization Lifestyle
by Cydné Battreall
What causes the victim mindset and
how to change it.
A Lifestyle of Grace
by Cheryl Smeed
Of going with the flow to achieve a
positive lifestyle.
Other Feature Articles
Natural Health Q & A
by Karen L. Mutter D.O.
Of cholesterol and various approaches
to lowering cholesterol levels.
2000 and Beyond!
by David Findlay/ Werner Huemer & Micah
Rubenstein
What is . . . Astrology?
by JoAnne Gregory
Some notes on the history of astrology
and some of the people who have used astrology. What the Sun signs, the
Moon and the planets tell us.
Mineral Kingdom
by Judy Power
Featured stones for July and August:
Zincite and Kyanite.
The Victimization Lifestyle
Cydné Battreall
There are many levels of victimizition playing out in people's lives. Some people withhold personal truth for fear of rejection or abandonment. Some accept exploitation in the workplace, in their homes and in their personal lives.
Many people caught up in the victimization lifestyle feel the fear of their lives being out of control, feeling helpless and hopeless. Amazingly enough, the majority of these people don't even know they are a victim. To further avoid the reality of victimization, people medicate themselves through relationships, alcohol, drugs, even the computer. The internal message is, "If I don't look at it or own it, I don't have to get responsible and change it." Therefore, the belief system that tells me I am a victim creates a self-fulfilling prophecy - and guess what? I get to be right! And, of course, I want to be right at all cost. There's just one problem, the price I pay is too high. It's called personal joy! It's defined as, "a feeling of happiness that comes from success, good fortune or a sense of well-being." And if I continue to set up the proof, over and over, that I am indeed a victim in my life, I will never get to experience the gifts of personal joy and a life created from infinite possibilities.
It is a radical concept that victimization is indeed a choice. Especially from inside the role. Everything looks and feels as though it's done to you by someone else. It sounds as though the world is against you. And, of course, the perfect mindset for a victim is: "I'm just not good enough to become 'good enough' at my life, so why even try?" The opportunity for healing comes from discovering where the mindset came from and how it can indeed be changed. Every human being is born with many internal messages like . . . "I'm beautiful, I'm talented, I'm creative, I'm lovable, I'm intelligent," etc. How long does each infant child get to keep those beautiful truths about themselves? How long did you keep yours? Before a child is six years old he/she receives the larger portion of 146,000 negative messages that they will receive by the age of 18.
By the age of four, courtesy of my brother and others, mine were turned into the sounds of, "You are dumb and stupid and nothing you will write or speak will ever be worth sharing with anyone!" I listened and took it all in. I looked to everyone else to define me and create my beliefs about me, even as an adult. That particular belief ran my life and gave me permission to victimize myself for 45 years. And then I received a ticket to freedom. I was given information that helped me understand that as an adult I was responsible for the beliefs inside my mind, and I could choose to correct the ones that didn't serve me any longer. That is when I ceased to be a victim. I became responsible for my own belief system and could discover and correct any beliefs that limited me. I also realized I had the power to return to the original beautiful, automatically encoded positive beliefs I was given at birth. Given a choice, wouldn't you?
I have a very dear friend and wonderful spiritual teacher whose life has also been limited by victim beliefs. My friend had succeeded in manifesting such professional success as making $1200 a day, plus expenses. This lifestyle afforded the best of everything . . . and then came the demise. The belief was discovered from early childhood - being born into a family with the mindset of extreme poverty. When the natural God-given abilities and talents reached high potential, the victimization belief of non-deserving kicked in to destroy it all.
This is not a unique story in that it happens on many levels to many of us every day. We reach for something wonderful and we get an internal message that says, "You don't deserve that. Put it back." And . . . we do! These are examples of what Leo Buscaglia calls, "the paraphernalia of anti-self: the self-defeating you." He implores us to take control of our life and correct the programming that causes these self-defeating behaviors. He also quotes Weisel from Souls on Fire: "When you die and go to meet your maker, you're not going to be asked why you didn't become a messiah or find a cure for cancer. All you're going to be asked is, 'Why didn't you become you? Why didn't you become all that you are?'"
Herbert Otto says, "Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life." To experiment with your own life is very exhilarating, full of joy, full of happiness, full of wonder, and yet it's scary. However, it's where the magic is. It's where the freedom is. My friend, myself and others have found a path to freedom from self-limiting, victimization belief systems and it just took some experimenting with our lives and our belief systems. And it wasn't any harder than sitting in the painful self-defeating experiences we had set up for ourselves.
If you feel any sense of limitation in your life - and you care to correct it - venture to discover the corresponding limiting belief and choose to adopt a new, positive one for yourself. Write a new play and live it with joy! There is only one thing limiting or victimizing you. That's you.
Namasté Everyone!
Cydné Battreall, A.M., N.L.P., specializes in restoring
a person's power through spiritual and mental clearing. Palm Harbor/St.
Petersburg, FL: (727) 772-9528, 981-3322.
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