November/December 1998
Articles on the theme "Family & Friends"
A Family Role Model
by Ethel Gillette
An account of how Bill Cosby in his
Cosby Show provided a much needed and inspiring example of real family values.
We're All Related
by Bob Gonzalez
Expanding one's view of family and friends to include the realization that
we are all one spirit.
A Soulful Season
by Edwina Holloway
Some suggestions for making the holiday
season more truly meaningful.
The Magic of our Differences
by Rev. Pat Cross
Friends and family - the ultimate gifts
of God's creation. Our human differences and our essential oneness.
Extend Your Family
by Cydné Battreall
If your current family does not meet
your needs, extend it! How to go about it.
The Family of Friends
by Sylvia Jackson
What it takes to be a friend and to
have a friend. True friendship in adversity.
Beyond Family and Friends
by ISA
The true solution to the need for family
and friends.
The Power of Our Thoughts
by Dr. Audrey Craft Davis
How we can use our thoughts to protect
ourselves and those we love.
Other Feature Articles
Natural Health Q&A
by David Simon M.Ac.
A practical discussion of the why's
and how's of weight loss.
2000 and Beyond!
Y2K = TEOTWAWKI?
by David Findlay
Mineral Kingdom
by Judy Power
Featured stones for November and December:
Lapis and Amethyst.
What is . . . Olestra?
by Susan Moyers
A fat-free "fat" that may
not be such a good idea after all.
The Family of Friends
by Sylvia Jackson
To have a family is easy. When we are born we have the warmth of our mother's breast to nourish and comfort us. The smiling face of a proud father gives us reassurance. Uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and cousins by the dozens come as part of the package of being born. And vast amounts of love.
But that is the easy part of our lives. The hard part comes after that. This is when we begin to interact with the members of other people's families. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "The only reward of virtue, is virtue; the only way to have a friend, is to be one."
Sure, we have people whom we come in contact with that we have our work in common with, but are they really friends? Do you spend time with them after work, away from work, and enjoy their company any time? If you answered yes, then they are a friend.
My father once told me that a friend is a person that you enjoy spending as much time with as possible, and when you are in trouble they are there for you, no matter what.
To have a friend and to be a friend you must take two parts kindness, two parts patience, three parts compassion, five parts love, and one half part apathy. Mix completely and take a liberal dose every day. Why did I include a small amount of apathy? Simple. In order to be a good friend, one must be able to let our friends make their own way through life. We must be there to share the happiness and to comfort the sadness. To do this is to know that when we falter, the friends that we have will be there to reach out their hand to help us up.
But how can we tell that our friends will be there for us? As John Churton Collins once wrote, "In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends." I used to have a friend who was a friend to me in all things, until I found out that I was terminally ill. She couldn't stand to be with me and the pain that she felt. That's all right because it's human nature, but also the sign of a friend who is not really a friend. But there were so many more who were there for me. For the first time in my life I knew what my father meant. Even though I no longer had to take off my shoes to count my friends, I was far richer for the ones that I did have.
Instead of having my friends call me when they were sad or in trouble, I found that I could do the same and be comforted. I feel like the richest woman in the world to have friends like Linda, Lois, Marsha, Patrick, Richard, Jennifer, Tim & Theresa, Dee & David, and . . . well the rest of you know who you are!
It's like, last night, I was really feeling depressed. Just talking to a friend made me feel so much better. I didn't have to unload my depression on her, just hearing her voice and laughing with her made me feel so much better. Only a true friend could do that!
So, what about you? How is your supply of friends? If you're real fortunate, the well is over-flowing. But how can we keep the ones that we have? I really don't know, I'm unsure how I managed to get the ones I have. But, I know that it has something to do with the formula that I gave you earlier and, the biggest ingredient, love. Without love, a friendship is like a doughnut that is all hole -- very empty and without substance. To fill the hole, I have found, is to merely relax and be yourself and to accept everyone else as they are. Never try to impose yourself on them, and the flower of friendship will bloom more beautifully than you could ever imagine!
Sylvia Jackson is a certified herbalist and touch healer. She is the founder of the Sacred Circle School of Wicca. Spring Hill, FL (352) 686-6597