November/December 1998
Articles on the theme "Family & Friends"
A Family Role Model
by Ethel Gillette
An account of how Bill Cosby in his
Cosby Show provided a much needed and inspiring example of real family values.
We're All Related
by Bob Gonzalez
Expanding one's view of family and friends to include the realization that
we are all one spirit.
A Soulful Season
by Edwina Holloway
Some suggestions for making the holiday
season more truly meaningful.
The Magic of our Differences
by Rev. Pat Cross
Friends and family - the ultimate gifts
of God's creation. Our human differences and our essential oneness.
Extend Your Family
by Cydné Battreall
If your current family does not meet
your needs, extend it! How to go about it.
The Family of Friends
by Sylvia Jackson
What it takes to be a friend and to
have a friend. True friendship in adversity.
Beyond Family and Friends
by ISA
The true solution to the need for family
and friends.
The Power of Our Thoughts
by Dr. Audrey Craft Davis
How we can use our thoughts to protect
ourselves and those we love.
Other Feature Articles
Natural Health Q&A
by David Simon M.Ac.
A practical discussion of the why's
and how's of weight loss.
2000 and Beyond!
Y2K = TEOTWAWKI?
by David Findlay
Mineral Kingdom
by Judy Power
Featured stones for November and December:
Lapis and Amethyst.
What is . . . Olestra?
by Susan Moyers
A fat-free "fat" that may
not be such a good idea after all.
A Soulful Season
by Edwina H. Holloway
It's here once again -- the holiday season. Through the media, we're bombarded with visions of large family gatherings sitting at exquisitely set tables enjoying elaborate food and only warm, loving conversation. Everyone is perfectly groomed and the house is, of course, beautifully decorated. Children are well-behaved and adults respond to each other in the kindest, most loving way. Everyone is smiling. Background songs softly herald joy to the world, peace on earth, and goodwill to all.
Then we contrast these images to the reality of our own lives during the holidays. Children are wild, with materialistic excitement about what Santa's going to bring them. Parents' nerves are frazzled from all the extra responsibilities of trying to live up to the media's image of making this the perfect holiday season for their families. Men prefer to sit in front of the TV watching football rather than at the elaborately set holiday table engaging in warm conversation. Budgets are seriously strained from the extra holiday expenses, and we arrive in the New Year feeling exhausted, irritable and downright depressed.
Maybe we need to change our strategy and mentally paint a big "X" over the media's image of what the holidays should be. Maybe this year we can find the courage to set some new traditions and experience the holidays differently. Maybe this year we can arrive on January 2, 1999, feeling less exhausted with a larger balance in our checkbooks -- both our financial and emotional ones.
Simplify your traditions. This will give you more quality time with family and friends. One of the best holidays my children and I remember is a Christmas Eve when we ordered pizza and sat around all evening sipping hot chocolate and watching holiday classics like It's a Wonderful Life that depict the true meaning of Christmas. Another wonderful memory is of an intimate gathering of six people on New Year's Eve. After a very simple potluck dinner, we shared what blessings the past year had brought us and gave thanks for them. Then we outlined our goals for the coming year and shared those with each other. On a separate piece of paper, we wrote what we wanted to leave behind in the year that was ending. We then had a ceremony where we tossed these "leftovers" in the fireplace just before midnight and celebrated the creation of our new and improved reality with warm hugs, music and dancing as the New Year began. As you find ways to simplify the holidays, you'll feel less exhausted so you can truly give your Self to your family and friends. Isn't that really what they want -- joy-filled, peaceful times with a relaxed you to share special moments that make lifelong memories?
Give gifts of the heart. The most precious gifts are those given from the heart. Remember it's the thought that counts, not the price tag. Let your family and friends know how much they mean to you -- not with material gifts but with words and actions.
One of the greatest gifts we can give is forgiveness -- of ourselves and others. Is there someone in your family or circle of friends with whom there has been tension or alienation? This is a wonderful time to write them a beautiful letter of forgiveness or express your sorrow for causing them pain that will truly be a treasure of the heart. The healing by this action for both of you will be an added bonus. Maybe the person you need to forgive is yourself.
The best holiday present we can give is being present. Be gentle with yourself during the holidays. Incorporate simplicity and creativity into your holiday gatherings for relaxing times with loved ones -- children, parents, friends -- so you can give them your undivided attention. The rewards will be sweeter than any holiday goodie -- and non-fattening. If you are far away from loved ones, recently lost a loved one through death or divorce, or feel alone during the holidays, consider reaching out to others. There are so many lonely people and good causes. The best Thanksgiving I can remember didn't start out that way. I was a single parent, depressed about spending yet another Thanksgiving away from my children. Then a friend called and asked if I wanted to join her in delivering food to home-bound elderly people in the inner city. Each person invited us in for a visit and shared beautiful memories of their lives with us. We may have brought them food for the body, but they gave us a bounty of food for our souls that day. It was the one of the most touching, joyful, rewarding experiences of my life.
The greatest blessing we can bestow on others is acceptance. If the men in your life love football on Thanksgiving and New Years Day, consider serving dinner on snack tables in front of the TV. If your partner or kids wants to wear jeans to church or Grandma's, let them. If the house is strewn with your children's new toys on Christmas as the guests arrive for dinner, practice saying, "So What?" Look at the joy on your children's faces and think for a minute about what's more important . . . a picture-perfect home or their happiness? Your family will be so grateful to you for allowing them to enjoy the holidays their way, and you'll feel more serenity. After all, it's usually our expectations that cause us distress and trigger arguments.
The finest clothes we can wear this holiday season are silken serenity, satin smiles, and a velvet voice.
The loveliest decorations with which we can fill our homes are peace, love, joy, and harmony.
The best foods we can serve at our holiday gatherings are heart-smart, soul foods: warm hugs, kind words, genuine smiles, and heartfelt laughter.
Find peace on earth by finding it within yourself, then seeing God and yourself in everyone you meet this holiday season.
Have a joy-filled, soulful holiday season!
Edwina H. Holloway is dedicated to helping people rediscover and use their own power for healing and creating. She is a certified hypnotherapist, writer, lecturer, and workshop facilitator. New Port Richey, FL (727) 376-2780. E-mail: edwinah@gte.net.