TAMPA BAY NEW TIMES an alternative, holistic magazine exploring Body, Mind and Spirit.

November/December 1998 Articles on the theme "Family & Friends" A Family Role Model by Ethel Gillette An account of how Bill Cosby in his Cosby Show provided a much needed and inspiring example of real family values. We're All Related by Bob Gonzalez Expanding one's view of family and friends to include the realization that we are all one spirit. A Soulful Season by Edwina Holloway Some suggestions for making the holiday season more truly meaningful. The Magic of our Differences by Rev. Pat Cross Friends and family - the ultimate gifts of God's creation. Our human differences and our essential oneness. Extend Your Family by Cydné Battreall If your current family does not meet your needs, extend it! How to go about it. The Family of Friends by Sylvia Jackson What it takes to be a friend and to have a friend. True friendship in adversity. Beyond Family and Friends by ISA The true solution to the need for family and friends. The Power of Our Thoughts by Dr. Audrey Craft Davis How we can use our thoughts to protect ourselves and those we love. Other Feature Articles Natural Health Q&A by David Simon M.Ac. A practical discussion of the why's and how's of weight loss. 2000 and Beyond! Y2K = TEOTWAWKI? by David Findlay Mineral Kingdom by Judy Power Featured stones for November and December: Lapis and Amethyst. What is . . . Olestra? by Susan Moyers A fat-free "fat" that may not be such a good idea after all.

A Family Role Model by Ethel Gillette Bill Cosby attained the success educators and entertainers dream of. What is more important he has been the catalyst for changing people for the better. That gave meaning to his craft and substance to his success. Who says we have no modern family role models? Bill Cosby contradicts that and his millions of viewers affirm it! I reviewed all the Cosby Show programs from their very beginning. Yes, I taped them all. Again I felt the warmth and joy of seeing family life without personal affectations. I was again moved by the reality of the family situations and the honest adult way they were handled. What a joy to see faith in action. The Cosby Show offered hope and inspiration to so many. Hope that there are better ways to cope and better times for families no matter what the definition of family might be. What a family role model! Perhaps the magic and charm of his programs comes from the feelings so many of us had that clamors, "I wish I could be a parent like Bill Cosby" or "I wish my parents were like that". Maybe his phenomenal success in TV, videos and book is in part because he portrays the parent we wish we could be. And the family is one we wish we could have been part of. Bill Cosby has never forgotten what it is like to be a kid. He drew on parenthood, marriage and maturity for his material. Stages of life we all go through and hopefully we learn as we struggle through them. With Cosby there is no perhaps. He grew and learned with every stage of life. He is still learning and it shows. He respects himself and it shows. The wisdom he has gained is passed on to us in each show and this grows. His light touch, his humor and his faith came through episode after episode. When Clair Cosby sang gospel hymns at her alma mater you knew religion was a part of her life. Both of the Cosby's belief in "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" came through loud and clear with their interaction with their parents, their children and each other. The Cosby Show cast parents as parents and the children as children. The parents knew who they were and they acted accordingly. They accepted the responsibility, the hard work and were accountable. What a refreshing contrast and what a daring concept. Parents actually being parents and children acting as children. No super "cutsie" repeating lines that you had to know they didn't understand, the words sounding child smart and the canned laughter cuing audience to accept banality. What hope these real life episodes gave to struggling parents in a very stressful world! The Cosby children were not perfect. They got into trouble and broke rules with astounding reality. They tested their boundaries again and again. Punishment always matched the misbehavior. And always was followed with a hug and love. I interviewed thirty parents, eleven were children themselves. I was amazed at the impact this program had on them. They began to question their parenting. Their reactions to their children's misbehavior was swift, without thought and punitive. This was partly because they used their children as a safety valve. Anger, despair and frustration could be spilled out in the name of punishment and to them they thought that was right . . . before the Cosby Show era. They began to look at how they handled problems. Discipline, and love at the same time was a brand new concept to many. Many felt that striking out against their children when angry and frustrated was normal. They began to question. They began to change. This took courage, this took faith. Bill Cosby, you gave so many just that. You did it without preaching but with laughter and positive examples. The playfulness between husband and wife was wholesome and endearing. The love and respect Clair and Bill showed their parents was an example of role models of the highest order. Accepting the role of parent and being accountable was courageous. Bill Cosby earned six Emmy's, the Humanities Prize, the Peabody Award and many other honors. But the most important contribution the show made was to the viewers. Who said there are no modern family role models? Bill Cosby contradicts that and his impact on parents resulting in better child care is a tribute to the role model he was and the positive role model today's busy world desperately needed. Ethel Gillette, a former RN and clinical instructor, wrote a column for four years and has been published internationally. St. Petersburg FL (727) 526-2242. Home Page