July/August 1998
Articles on the theme "Pride & Prejudice"
Prejudice Can Kill
by Patrick Plaskett
Why is some pride good and some not
so good. What is the connection between pride and prejudice.
Loving Authority
by Barbara Bedingfield
Teaching children to become selfless individuals, having a sense of gratitude,
and able to show care and consideration for others.
The Same Only Different
by Bob Gonzalez
Of astral travel, contact with the
departed and the interpretation of dream symbols.
Random Acts of Kindness
by Rev. Pat Cross
Discarding human attitudes and recovering
our oneness with God and each other.
The Magic of Differences
by Judith Sherven PhD and James Sniechowski PhD
Maybe it is not what we have in common
but the differences that really make a relationship.
A Threat To Survival
by Cydné Su Battreall
A battle with cancer. How pride and
prejudice can get in the way of making rational decisions.
Forgiveness and Compassion
by David Simon
A discussion of the origins of pride
and prejudice, and the nurturing of their opposite attitudes: forgiveness
and compassion.
No Room for Pride or Prejudice
by Dr. Audrey Craft Davis
On the importance of being able to
stand alone as an individual, so that one can enjoy a relationship free
of pride or prejudice.
Unlimited Vision
by JoAnne Gregory
Freeing ourselves from the limitations
of restricted points of view to create a reality of our choice.
Personal Pride and Legal Prejudice
by Constance Felos
Dreams of the good life, earthly dreams,
bad dreams, possible dreams and the ultimate dream.
Too Much!
by David Findlay
How going to extremes leads to the
negative aspects pride and prejudice. Underlying roles and identities.
Other Feature Articles
Natural Health Q&A
by Elizabeth Fenton and Renee Gillombardo
The psychological and physical benefits
of walking, plus other factors that affect our mental health.
What is . . . Hypnosis
by Alvin Bartz PhD
What hypnosis is and what it isn't.
The benefits of hypnosis. Some common misconceptions.
Personal Pride and Legal Prejudice
by Constance Felos
"Mr. Sanders, I can't take your case right now. Your legal and financial situations have serious potential for loss. Your case requires much time, attention and preparation for legal attacks from three aggressive and well-prepared opponents."
Sounds like a war or a battle, doesn't it? Often, legal practice takes on such a demeanor. In this type of situation the lawyer must be of suitable temperament to deal with the opposition and the client. In Mr. Sanders' case, the client was more bent on opposing his own victory than were his adversaries. The question I silently asked myself was, "Why?"
I was concerned that gaining a good result for Mr. Sanders might be all for naught due to his bitterness and resentment of authority which was clearly revealed by his explanation of his case. I did not want to expend my time and energy in solving his financial problems only to have the personal pride and legal prejudices of the client create additional unsolvable problems. Finally, after Mr. Sanders agreed to try to put his pride aside, (he would commit only to try), I agreed to take the case.
Mr. Salvatore Sanders was an attractive man about 50 years old in good physical condition. He had worked hard all his life as a welder. When the steel industry downsized, he lost his job. He moved to Florida and bought two Gulf-front lots with a house and some rental units. Also, he owned a piece of property with other people where he operated another small business. He was really trying to make it as an entrepreneur, small business owner. He employed his hard work ethic and a great amount of ingenuity to make enough money to make his mortgage payments and pay his family's living expenses.
Sal rented a shop where he operated a third business. This business failed and Sal moved out. Unfortunately, the lease was not complete when he moved and he didn't get another tenant to take over the balance of the rent payments. The landlord sued for the full amount of the lease, about $25,000. Sal was incensed. He had discussed this matter with the landlord's agent and was told that it was OK for him to move. Accordingly, he expected the landlord to re-rent the space and to forgive any prospective rent payments. He believed that the landlord was "wrong" and just "out to get" him. The landlord was a vindictive, powermonger, according to my new client.
Sal identified himself as a very proud, hard-working man who was "right". He never hired a lawyer to defend him against the landlord because he said that "all lawyers charge too much". "Such a prejudice against lawyers," I thought. I shook my head and made a mental note to remember what havoc such pride and prejudice can play in people's lives. It is interesting to note that with a lawyer's help the lawsuit probably would have cost Sal about $3,000 to $5,000. The landlord got a judgment against my client for $25,000 plus interest and attorney's fees for the landlord's attorney. Sal was irate! He was angry at the judge because the judge didn't rule in his favor. As I understand the facts, Sal sent a letter to the judge, but never filed a formal pleading nor submitted any evidence to defend his position. Now the landlord was trying to collect the money by taking the property Sal worked so hard to acquire.
The pieces were beginning to fit. The puzzle was taking shape. Sal resented authority figures such as judges, lawyers, landlords or bosses. He hated to be told what to do and expected people in command to mistreat him. Sal was experiencing exactly what he expected. In his anger he had gone to a lawyer who charged him very little to file bankruptcy. Sal got what he paid for. He was involved in a Chapter 7 (liquidation) bankruptcy where all of Sal's property would be sold to pay his creditors. He was really scared he would lose his home. And, he would have, if we had not intervened.
We filed a motion with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court and converted the ill-advised Chapter 7 to a Chapter 13 case. A chapter 13 case is not a liquidation, but a repayment plan. The debtor pays his creditors over time and keeps his property. There are many legal and procedural rules to be followed and it was a challenge keeping Sal on track. His dislike for rules and authority kept showing up in arrogance and stubbornness. He began to experience the effect his pride was having on his life. He was severely depressed, nervous and unable to sleep at night.
I negotiated an excellent settlement with the landlord. The $25,000 judgment was reduced to $7,800, payable at $100 per month. What a deal! But, Sal wouldn't accept it. He said he wouldn't pay something that was "wrong". His pride would destroy his financial life if the creditors sold his property and divided up the equity. He conceded that continuing on the same path would reap grim consequences. My proud and prejudiced client was being given the opportunity to look within himself for the cause of his challenges. If he stayed stuck in his hostility toward people in control positions he was sure to lose everything and continue to suffer from his own pride and prejudice.
Sometimes, it takes a major catastrophe in the external world to allow one to probe the internal world for the answer. I believe that each of us has the power of Infinite Intelligence within. By tapping into that power, we can create our lives as healthy, happy and fulfilled. Leaving resentment and blame behind and being responsible for the occurrences in our lives can be a great leap of faith. Sal made the leap. He discovered that what he believed about his life, would come true. He didn't have to continue to suffer at the hands of authority. He began to shed the blame and resentment, and to accept the situation without taking it as a personal affront to his pride. He said his prejudice against lawyers had changed. He even referred a couple clients to me.
The good news is that Sal paid off the landlord, still owns his property and is sleeping at night. He is enthusiastically pursuing a new opportunity. This client made the hard choice and opened the door to the possibility of a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
Constance Felos is a speaker, writer, performer and lawyer. As a Science of Mind practitioner intern and certified Louise Hay teacher she creates performances, lectures, workshops and classes using New Thought philosophy. She practices law with her husband in Dunedin, Florida. (813) 736-1402.