Peace is at the heart of every desire in life. Whatever we desire, we believe that attaining it will bring us happiness and with happiness will come peace. Peace and happiness go hand in hand and, as Abraham Lincoln said about happiness, I believe that people can be as peaceful as they make up their minds to be.
Peace is not passive but active. It must be cultivated consciously and actively with thoughts, words and deeds. What follows is a partial list of ideas I collected and adapted from various sources to serve as guidelines to cultivating a serene spirit in my life:
This too shall pass.
Life is movement, continuous transformation, flow. There
is nothing permanent except change. To expect things to remain forever exactly
as they are now is to defy reality. If I develop my ability to willingly
and joyously adapt to externally changing circumstances, I lessen the wear
and tear of everyday living on my spirit.
Do not judge; rather, seek to understand.
In nature there are no punishments or rewards, there are
only consequences. Human beings create systems of moral order with its good
and bad, right and wrong. These judgments are not absolute but relative.
Attachment to strong opinions sets me up for conflict when I encounter opposing
opinions. The struggle to defend my opinions always creates turmoil. Instead,
if I use my energy to try to understand the other point of view, I not only
grow in wisdom, but I resolve conflict.
Accept things as they are.
Resistance causes distress. To the degree that I release
the need to have my way, to that same degree I make way for serenity in
my life. If I release the need to change things around me to conform to
my present limited view, I open myself to new perspectives and possibilities
and free myself to enjoy life more. If I realize that things may not reach
fruition according to my expectations but more likely in their own time,
I breathe easier.
I cannot control what is outside me; I can only control me.
I have no control over or responsibility for the acts of
nature or of other people. I am only in charge of my own thoughts, words
and deeds. I can choose to interpret and respond to outside circumstances
in whatever way I see fit, knowing that I will receive the results of my
responses.
Make time to be.
I find moments to be physically and mentally still and
silent, to watch my breath and thoughts, to release my hold on the external
world and my identity within it, to do nothing and simply be. I can peel
away the layers of my personality and the tools I use to express it to others
and instead simply feel my essence.
Do not flee conflict; resolve it instead.
I avoid initiating conflicts and try to diffuse them if
they begin to arise, but, if they exist, I do not avoid them, but meet them
face to face and work through to a complete resolution where opposites can
harmonize.
As much as possible, downgrade needs to wants and then simplify wants.
I ask myself what my true needs are and why I feel I need
this or that new item in my life. If I examine many things that I think
I need, I may discover that I simply want them and may even be able to do
without them. I can adopt the attitude that if they come to me, well and
good. If they never come, just as well.
Give away as many material goods as possible.
With each acquisition comes the responsibility to maintain it. The more clothes I have, the more laundry I must do and the more closet space I must have. The more machines I have, the more electricity I use, the more repairs I must have and the more room I must have. Also, the acquisition mode can become an obsession. The more I have, the more I feel I must have. If I reverse it and form the habit of giving, I simplify my life and experience more peace.
When I consider and practice these ideas, I find a harmony and calmness within my activities that is absent when I ignore and neglect them. They work for me. If you wish, you may try them and see if they work for you.
Bob Gonzalez is a freelance writer who also, with his family, manages Ansley's Natural Marketplaces in Tampa, Florida. (813) 239-2700.